Scottsdale's Fashion Square Mall

The weather forecast for this week is for lots of rain and cloud, beginning Monday. We decided to make the best of our Sunday by visiting the Desert Botanical Garden at Scottsdale, just north-east of Phoenix. Heading out from the Village, we headed west on Main Street, through Tempe and the university district, right smack into the Phoenix marathon. Only a few blocks from our destination, we were told that you can't get there from here - try going back onto the freeway, switch to another freeway and make your entrance from the north - it might be open there.

OK. We do all that and end up in Scottsdale, only to be told that you can't get there from here. Maybe try another route, but it doesn't look good.

Well, folks our age can only do so much after consuming a small (16 oz.) coffee without finding a washroom. We zip into a couple of likely places only to find that they are closed on Sundays. OK. We find a mall and there, like a beacon from above is a Starbucks - hallelujah! And I'm not referring to the prospect of a coffee grande.

Mission accomplished, we wander back outside and note that this Starbucks is located in Scottsdale's Fashion Square Mall, and parked near our car is one of Scottsdale's finest, a policeman in his patrol car.

"May I ask you a question sir" I inquire politely?

"Sure" he says as he takes time out from crime-fighting. "What do you need to know?"

"How can I get to the Desert Botanical Garden with this marathon on," I ask?

"That would be real tough" he says. "Not at least until three o'clock".

"Shoot" I say! "No, just kidding! Darn it, I mean."

"That's all right", he says. "Why don't you just do what all the other white folks in Scottsdale do on a Sunday afternoon and go shopping?" (The officer in question is black.)

"You're standing outside one of the ritziest malls in the country right now. You could take your little missus in to Tiffany and Co. for a Valentine's bracelet, and pick up a new outfit for each of you at Hugo Boss. Cartier has a great spring sunglasses collection this year, and you should replace that old watch of yours at Bvlgari's. What man wouldn't like a set of BeoLab5 loudspeakers from Bang and Oulafsson? Seeing as how you are from out-of-state, you both probably need a new set of luggage from Louis Vuitton. I know Jimmy Choo has some great new 4" heel sandals that the wife might like, and you look like you could use a new belt and shoes from Gucci, sir," he says.

"If you still have some time after that, drop by Neiman Marcus and pick up one of those cute Bugatti Veyron model cars. And I don't mind saying that your wife would look darned cute in an Emilio Pucci swimsuit" he says with a wink.

Well, after being so helpful, what could we do but follow his advice? I sure wished Megan and Lenore had been along to help us find all those stores though. Where are the pros when you need them? And wouldn't it have been nice to have Laurel's counsel on choosing just the right sizes and styles? I probably picked the wrong colours on half these things. Oh well, the sales clerks did say I could always return anything as long as it hasn't been taken out of the wrapper and the Oilers win 20 consecutive games in 2010. No worries!

Raymondo on his quest of fulfilling the officer's suggestions.

Raymondo takes time out to mix with the locals.

By the way, we did make it to the Desert Botannical Gardens around three o'clock that afternoon, although with the car's trunk almost dragging on the ground. We passed up the Ferrari and Lamborghini dealerships, figuring we might well have to sell Doug and Lenore's RV just to make the minimum VISA payment next month.