Friday, January 29, 2010

WHAT THE .......?????!!!!


Yes, it certainly looks like the Edmonton Oilers to me....!

Monday, January 18, 2010

Scottsdale's Fashion Square Mall

The weather forecast for this week is for lots of rain and cloud, beginning Monday. We decided to make the best of our Sunday by visiting the Desert Botanical Garden at Scottsdale, just north-east of Phoenix. Heading out from the Village, we headed west on Main Street, through Tempe and the university district, right smack into the Phoenix marathon. Only a few blocks from our destination, we were told that you can't get there from here - try going back onto the freeway, switch to another freeway and make your entrance from the north - it might be open there.

OK. We do all that and end up in Scottsdale, only to be told that you can't get there from here. Maybe try another route, but it doesn't look good.

Well, folks our age can only do so much after consuming a small (16 oz.) coffee without finding a washroom. We zip into a couple of likely places only to find that they are closed on Sundays. OK. We find a mall and there, like a beacon from above is a Starbucks - hallelujah! And I'm not referring to the prospect of a coffee grande.

Mission accomplished, we wander back outside and note that this Starbucks is located in Scottsdale's Fashion Square Mall, and parked near our car is one of Scottsdale's finest, a policeman in his patrol car.

"May I ask you a question sir" I inquire politely?

"Sure" he says as he takes time out from crime-fighting. "What do you need to know?"

"How can I get to the Desert Botanical Garden with this marathon on," I ask?

"That would be real tough" he says. "Not at least until three o'clock".

"Shoot" I say! "No, just kidding! Darn it, I mean."

"That's all right", he says. "Why don't you just do what all the other white folks in Scottsdale do on a Sunday afternoon and go shopping?" (The officer in question is black.)

"You're standing outside one of the ritziest malls in the country right now. You could take your little missus in to Tiffany and Co. for a Valentine's bracelet, and pick up a new outfit for each of you at Hugo Boss. Cartier has a great spring sunglasses collection this year, and you should replace that old watch of yours at Bvlgari's. What man wouldn't like a set of BeoLab5 loudspeakers from Bang and Oulafsson? Seeing as how you are from out-of-state, you both probably need a new set of luggage from Louis Vuitton. I know Jimmy Choo has some great new 4" heel sandals that the wife might like, and you look like you could use a new belt and shoes from Gucci, sir," he says.

"If you still have some time after that, drop by Neiman Marcus and pick up one of those cute Bugatti Veyron model cars. And I don't mind saying that your wife would look darned cute in an Emilio Pucci swimsuit" he says with a wink.

Well, after being so helpful, what could we do but follow his advice? I sure wished Megan and Lenore had been along to help us find all those stores though. Where are the pros when you need them? And wouldn't it have been nice to have Laurel's counsel on choosing just the right sizes and styles? I probably picked the wrong colours on half these things. Oh well, the sales clerks did say I could always return anything as long as it hasn't been taken out of the wrapper and the Oilers win 20 consecutive games in 2010. No worries!
Raymondo on his quest of fulfilling the officer's suggestions.

Raymondo takes time out to mix with the locals.

By the way, we did make it to the Desert Botannical Gardens around three o'clock that afternoon, although with the car's trunk almost dragging on the ground. We passed up the Ferrari and Lamborghini dealerships, figuring we might well have to sell Doug and Lenore's RV just to make the minimum VISA payment next month.

Sunday, January 17, 2010

You think A-Rod has it tough?

Those of you who have been following my athletic endeavors have no doubt been concerned about my recovery from those two red road rashes on my knees. To disbelief and sometimes outright laughter I've been telling people that they are rug burns. But I digress. You'll be relieved to learn that they have nearly stopped bleeding and are healing nicely; nicely enough that on Tuesday I was out on the ball diamond again with the team.

Hopes were high as the mighty Val Vista Villagers were mightily stoked to take on the Apache Wells Warriors. The day previously, we even took practice at our batting-cage facility! We each had about three sets of 20 swings at the pitching machine's offerings. If I do say so myself, my last set would have yielded about 10-15 hits.... not too bad for a guy who didn't really make the big impression he hoped the last time out.

I took my usual yoga stretching exercises, then catching warm-ups followed by fielding practice. At my first opportunity to chase down a fly ball, something rather weird happened - I couldn't run! What the heck?? I tried again, but one would never confuse me with the guy whose nickname used to be the "gazelle"!

Seems I must have overdone my warm-ups a tad and pulled a groin muscle.

Rather sheepishly, I quietly advised my manager Dale that I'd not be a position to help the team much today. His response seemed to be a mixture of disbelief and outright laughter (Dale is 75 and his brother, the pitcher, is 80).

Let me tell you, when I looked at the inside of my thigh the next day and saw the angry purple color from my knee all the way up to my ...... groin, my response was also disbelief, but certainly not laughter!

After a couple of days of very slowly hobbling around, my thoughts were that perhaps I should take a month's leave from the rigours of slow-pitch and take up something less strenuous, like kick-boxing or running marathons. I mean, I'm not 25 any more. If I were, say, like Allan, I would fully expect to recover by lunchtime. But I'm not. I might not fully recover until March!

Wednesday, January 6, 2010

A League of His Own?

I hadn't yet finished unpacking the trunk of the car on Sunday when a neighbour at the Val Vista RV park approached and invited me to participate in a slow-pitch game (these guys don't waste any time). "What the heck", I thought, it's not like my dance card was filled up yet. "OK" I said, where and when?

A couple of days later, Dale and his brother Roy picked me up and stopped off at the batting cage on the way to the park - "just for a few practice swings" they said. I got the distinct impression that, despite an apparent recommendation from a now-absent snowbird, they were wondering about just what they had invited on to their team. Well after about 20 pitches and a couple of hits (hey, it has been a few years since I last swung a bat in anger) we were off to Apache Wells and the diamond. These guys were 15 or 20 years older than me so what's to worry about?

Actually, I may have been the youngest player on either team and definitely the best-looking.

The sun was warm with clear skies and little wind. Everyone was friendly and laid-back, greeting each other after the Christmas and New Year's break. Most of that cameraderie evaporated rather quickly with the first disputed play. "Oh, these guys take their ball seriously" I thought. And one could certainly see that in years gone by, these players were probably all better than I had been.

Well, after a few at-bats, I managed a couple of hits, an RBI or two and a face plant between first and second base. Seems my legs were not working in sync with my visualizations.... Oh well, wiped off the blood (an initiation of sorts, I figure) and carried on. Arriving back at the RV, Dale presented me with a grapefruit right off his tree and invited me back next Tuesday. I'll see. This morning, this body is definitely feeling the effects of swinging a bat and a long layoff from almost any type of running, never mind base-running. Those guys are tough!!!


Raymondo with the proffered grapefruit (yes I know it's called a "cactus league" in Arizona, but close enough), and a smile. Notice the two skinned knees.